(continued from my previous post… How I Quit Smoking – Day Two)
I woke up in the morning feeling great as usual and I was very confident to last this day easily. All throughout the morning before going to the office, I noticed that the urge to smoke has gone weak. I could still smell the stench of old ash trays lying around that I haven’t disposed of and I really despise the smell of it.
I felt good, imagine this is the third day I haven’t smoke for the last 22 years. My nose is clearing itself and I could appreciate the smell of fresh air outside.
I arrived in the office, grabbed my pitcher of water filled it up, just trying to make sure everything is complete once the temptation strikes back and it did. It hammered me down completely helpless that I almost gave in to smoke again.
It all started when the phone rang and had an argument with the person on the other line and I had the strongest urge ever to smoke in my whole life. I almost gulped down the whole pitcher of water in front of me, I was totally upset and the more it makes the urge go stronger.
I was about to stand up to approach my office mate and ask a cigarette, after all, I have done it in two days so I can easily quit again and I just need to choose a time where there is less stress. My mind was playing tug-of-war; and this time I don’t who’s going to win.
During this time, my whole face was turning red, my jaws were locking up, and the words keep shouting inside my head “You need to smoke to calm yourself…” But before standing up to ask some cigarettes, I looked at the people around me who are not smokers, they are calm, they are working peacefully, it’s this stupid nicotine that’s making me feel this way.
So I sat back, gulped the remaining water, took a deep breath, pulled my index cards and read the notes (self suggestion) I wrote, said a little prayer and the urge became manageable. And after a couple of minutes I was back on my feet. It’s a healing process for abusing myself for 22 years I told myself and went back peacefully to work.
I hated that unforgettable experience but to be honest I am thankful it happened. The urge and temptation that followed were all manageable, but I never ever underestimated the temptation to smoke. If non-smokers are tempted to smoke what more of an ex-smoker, if proper conditioning of the mind has not yet been made, the chances of getting hooked again is very likely.
Just remember, smoking taste bad, it stinks, it makes you lose your self-respect, your throwing money in the garbage, your introducing various disease in your body and smoking makes you stupid.
How many times have we made to believe that smoking after a meal feels great?! The fact is, it’s not and it’s only psychological, it doesn’t make you feel great, it has no difference between smoking before or after a meal, the feeling is all the same.
And what really is happening is you will try to finish your meal fast in order to light a cigarette. Honestly I never enjoyed a meal during my career as a smoker; I was always rushing si I would have ample time to smoke.
The afternoon went well, I enjoyed my lunch knowing that that this time I was in no hurry to smoke. I also enjoyed the company of my co-workers that for years I have never talked to them casually as I did today. And I was happy telling stories because this time they were not covering their noses as I speak.
Don’t miss the last part of this series, read the last part of it – How I quit smoking – conclusion.